Unresolved issues are one of the leading factors that cause kids to react like the 4th of July; a period of calm is followed by a spectacular reaction triggered by what seems to be very small sparks.
When we see such explosive behavior in our kids, it is natural for us to think that they are just trying to get their way. What about our kids are doing something they should not be doing or are being ridiculous because what was said or done is so minor in comparison to their response?
After 12 years of talking with kids about their lives, decisions and direction, one thing is crystal clear. The vast majority of kids fear bringing up their frustrations, issues or hurts with their parents. They are convinced their parents will be defensive, overreact or dismiss their perspective altogether.
As a result many kids carry with in them a growing list of issues/hurts with their parents. As they hold this hurt within, each area of hurt develops into figurative fireworks just waiting to be ignited. When our kids are in this position, it does not take much to light their fuse. Read More →