Archive for resolution process

Kids that morph, alter who they are in their relationships to be accepted.  One simple example would be a young man or lady who alters what she likes, does or thinks to be accepted by the person they are dating.  As I coach families I am finding many parents who look back and say, “I morphed,” some with painful outcomes.

When we change ourselves to enter relationships it sets the relationship up to fail because eventually we will move back towards whom we truly are and what we like because it is consistent with how we are wired. When this occurs, the person the significant other fell in love with gradually disappears leaving the real relationship on shaky ground.  If both parties are morphing to make a relationship work, they may wake up one day and feel like they do not really know the person they are with. Read More →

Why am I so passionate about Influential Parenting? It saved my second marriage and my relationship with my daughter.  It brought my daughter and my husband (step-dad) closer.  It brought us to the middle and away from the extremes (Hooray!). But it also challenged what we thought was conventional wisdom in parenting. It was exactly what our family needed!
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Unfortunately I am hearing of this tragic situation with more and more regularity.

Hearing from Grandparents who are in agony over not being allowed to see their grandchildren is heartbreaking. They do not understand why their kids have decided they do not want them around their kids. I find that grandparents in this situation are confused and hurt.  They cannot understand why they are not permitted to see their grand kids and what they can do to change the situation.

There are multiple factors underlying the growth of this trend:

1) The change in the view and values of recent generations

2) The failure of Traditional parenting strategies

3) Unresolved issues and their associated hurt

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Patterns We Set

Resolving issues is one of the more challenging things for parents and children to do.  We form communication habits and patterns when we have little children age 1 to 4. We then forget to adjust our view and communication strategies as they advance in age, this makes it really hard to communicate. The knowledge of needing a resolution process with our children is very slim.

The result, children age 8 to 10 tell me they are afraid to be honest with their parents.  Which also leads children to start the process of leading a dual life* because of the fear (“children living a dual life” a whole module addresses this in Revive Family’s Influential Parenting).  This fear stems from five primary sources. Read More →

Resolving issues is one of the more challenging things for parents and children to do.  We form communication habits and patterns when we have little children age 1 to 4. We then forget to adjust our view and communication strategies as they advance in age, this makes it really hard to communicate.

The result, children age 8 to 10 tell me they are afraid to be honest with their parents.  Which also leads children to start the process of leading a dual life* because of the fear (“children living a dual life” a whole module addresses this in Revive Family’s Influential Parenting).  This fear stems from five primary sources.

Read More →