Healing the heart is not a science or a linear process but an inward journey of discovery, reflection, and emotional consciousness that leads to deep healing. It does, however, require a significant mental decision and commitment. Why? It takes time, personal transparency, and a willingness to discover the suppressed reality that lies within.
This discovery process is not easy and often uncovers pain that we inherently like to avoid which is likely why we stuffed it originally. When pain accumulates, it causes us to deep six our hearts and shut them down, in effect sealing the hatch to the submarine to avoid the storm within. Read More →
One of the keys for family connection that builds a sense of togetherness is TALK, simple on its face, but complex in its execution. Our challenge as parents and grand parents is establishing a culture of communication that builds and encourages open communication and togetherness. We desire to be together but pools of pain within, unsolved issues, and poor communication habits can rob us of what we truly desire.
The kids that helped coin the five “Ts” at our family camp wanted to talk deeply, transparently and on an emotional level with their parents which was something their parents neither believed nor understood coming into the week. Many adults did not have open and emotional conversation with their parents, which was the case with this family setting them up to miss having a deeper connection with their own kids. Read More →
Time is a tricky topic today especially for parents of older kids. It’s tricky for a number of reasons:
- Our busy lives and schedules
- The financial pressures many families face today
- The sense that our kids want to spend little to no time with us as they get older
Recently a family that came to the pilot of Revive’s family camp was surprised by the desire their kids ages 17 to 22 had to spend time with them. Even their college graduate expressed a sadness that now that the family was working on the family dynamics she regretted she was heading off to a full time job in another city because she desired time with the entire family.
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Nine out of ten kids, whom I have had the privilege of coaching, feared or were hesitant on sharing their feelings or attempting to bring up issues/hurts with their parents. This inability to address feelings, hurts, and issues contributed heavily to their hiding out in their rooms and also their explosiveness with their parents, as they grew older. Read More →
Unresolved issues are one of the leading factors that cause kids to react like the 4th of July; a period of calm is followed by a spectacular reaction triggered by what seems to be very small sparks.
When we see such explosive behavior in our kids, it is natural for us to think that they are just trying to get their way. What about our kids are doing something they should not be doing or are being ridiculous because what was said or done is so minor in comparison to their response?
After 12 years of talking with kids about their lives, decisions and direction, one thing is crystal clear. The vast majority of kids fear bringing up their frustrations, issues or hurts with their parents. They are convinced their parents will be defensive, overreact or dismiss their perspective altogether.
As a result many kids carry with in them a growing list of issues/hurts with their parents. As they hold this hurt within, each area of hurt develops into figurative fireworks just waiting to be ignited. When our kids are in this position, it does not take much to light their fuse. Read More →
Kids with negative core values have heightened emotional reactions. When this is the case, what appear to be minor events or things we say can result in strong reactions such as fits, tears, anger and withdrawal.
When coaching families across the country, I find negative core values play a significant role in virtually every family. While the term core value is used in several ways, I am referring to the deeply held beliefs we adopt about ourselves in our childhood. These beliefs can be:
- Positive: we believe more positive things about ourselves deep within than negative.
- Negative: we believe more negative things about ourselves deep within than positive.
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Why am I so passionate about Influential Parenting? It saved my second marriage and my relationship with my daughter. It brought my daughter and my husband (step-dad) closer. It brought us to the middle and away from the extremes (Hooray!). But it also challenged what we thought was conventional wisdom in parenting. It was exactly what our family needed!
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As parents we all deal with back talk and want this behavior to stop. As the founder of Revive Family I have come to see back talk in a new light. To see it in a new light I ask myself this: “Is back talk just bad behavior or is it also a cry for help?” Read More →
As parents we all want to help our kids so that they do not make the same mistakes we did. We often tell them what is right or wrong and try to make them do the right thing, which leads to lectures. Last week we looked at the reasons lecturing and repeating things does not get through to our kids. When we ask our kids strategic questions, it is far more effective and often the best way for us to teach our kids.
Why it this true?
When we ask a question, our kids must stop and think. They cannot just put it on autopilot and respond with their habitual answers or reactions. Read More →
My name is Jennifer Schadt and I am a sophomore at Northern Arizona University. Yes, my last name is Schadt, which means I am related to Jeff(founder of Revive Family), he is my dad. This summer I have come home to work for Revive Family full time (completely pro bono) and have found myself doing some very important projects. I want to share with you why I decided to join the Revive Family team.
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