Prior to my journey of heart healing I had intellectually forgiven the sources of the stuffed issues and pain within me. Yet without having turned and dealt with the harm within, it was not a full forgiveness. As the negative beliefs I had adopted came to the forefront and the sources of those beliefs were identified, it was clear that my forgiveness was incomplete.
I had to truly begin to heal within before I could truly forgive in such a manner that I did not seek to guard and protect myself from those I had intellectually forgiven. Read More →
Given that our culture is not a culture of grieving it seems only natural that we would learn to stuff our feelings only to reach a point where our hearts shut down because of unresolved issues with our parents, others or things outside our control which lead to the amount of pain we carry inside.
Pat was the one to first introduce me to the thought that stuffing traumatic or painful events in our lives is not healthy. She helped me see that losing my Dad, my company and a youth organization my wife and I started deeply wounded me. Those around me had not allowed me to grieve. She believed that we must begin to grieve painful events in a healthy way within three weeks of the event. Otherwise we will stuff the pain deep within our hearts to resolve it and it will become toxic for the rest of our lives. It will seep into how we view ourselves and negatively affects us and those around us. Read More →
While looking within is often the hardest phase of healing, it is crucial. I am not talking about a cursory review of oneself at the mind level, but rather a process of opening the hatch to our hearts and becoming emotionally transparent with ourselves. We must allow ourselves to feel and find the root causes of the hurt and negative beliefs we have so carefully sealed from our consciousness. As I help parents and kids reach this place, it is amazing to see how unaware they often are regarding the pools of pain they are carrying within as well as the negative beliefs they have adopted.
When I ask them on the surface if they are okay with themselves, the answer is normally yes, but as we dig through a long list of questions about their lives, unresolved hurts and deeply held negative beliefs begin to surface. Identifying the sealed off hurts within our hearts and the negative beliefs is essential to healing that brings with it internal contentment, peace and joy. Read More →
Healing the heart is not a science or a linear process but an inward journey of discovery, reflection, and emotional consciousness that leads to deep healing. It does, however, require a significant mental decision and commitment. Why? It takes time, personal transparency, and a willingness to discover the suppressed reality that lies within.
This discovery process is not easy and often uncovers pain that we inherently like to avoid which is likely why we stuffed it originally. When pain accumulates, it causes us to deep six our hearts and shut them down, in effect sealing the hatch to the submarine to avoid the storm within. Read More →
Time is a tricky topic today especially for parents of older kids. It’s tricky for a number of reasons:
- Our busy lives and schedules
- The financial pressures many families face today
- The sense that our kids want to spend little to no time with us as they get older
Recently a family that came to the pilot of Revive’s family camp was surprised by the desire their kids ages 17 to 22 had to spend time with them. Even their college graduate expressed a sadness that now that the family was working on the family dynamics she regretted she was heading off to a full time job in another city because she desired time with the entire family.
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Once a year during the summer my grandma takes us kids for a week. She started this when I was very little and we have been doing it every year since. We spend a week at her house doing fun activities along with, games, movie nights, crafts and one or two projects on her house. This gives my parents a much needed break and time to relax while us kids get to have new and wonderful experiences with Gram!
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Our daughter is amazing, that’s it, plane and simply amazing! Most of her friends are mature like she is and the group of friends she has are good kids, with good values, and are keeping each other on track. She’s responsible, planning her future. We don’t track her on GPS (yes, you read that right), we don’t snoop through her phone (not a spy sorry, well not sorry) and social media accounts, we don’t snoop through her room (if we did, she should be able to snoop through ours, or is that overboard). I know you’re thinking “what!” you have to do those things to keep her safe and out of trouble. No we don’t and she is safe and out of trouble.
We work with natural consequences now. So if she does not go to practice she will likely sit on the bench for most of the game, if she does not turn in her homework she will get a bad grade, if she does not move the laundry she will have wet clothes etc… Read More →
My name is Jennifer Schadt and I am a sophomore at Northern Arizona University. Yes, my last name is Schadt, which means I am related to Jeff(founder of Revive Family), he is my dad. This summer I have come home to work for Revive Family full time (completely pro bono) and have found myself doing some very important projects. I want to share with you why I decided to join the Revive Family team.
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Summer provides parents a great opportunity to move kids towards understanding themselves and the responsibility needed to help them mature and succeed.
As parents we can make summer a season of development with our kids because they have more free time and are not consumed with school, activities and sports. To accomplish this we need to view our kids and our role differently.
|We can Make Summer a Season of Development and Responsibility
For some parents, like Deedee and me with our oldest at age nine, it may mean you need to do some things to reconnect with your kids at a deeper level. This was a level that was missing with our kids. Even though they knew we cared deeply for them, they saw that our focus was on their performance and behavior. This caused our oldest daughter to avoid us, hide things and give one word answers rather than entering into conversations with us. Our focus on performance caused our kids to retreat from responsibility because they knew we would harp on how they under-performed rather than encourage them in their effort and learning. Read More →
What Brings Out and Flourishes our Kids Potential?
As we are thinking about how to raise our kids, we need to ask ourselves a vital question. What Brings Out and Flourishes our Kids Potential?
Today with the focus on test scores, activities, and community service, we have to get into the college of first choice. There is more pressure on parents and their kids to perform, have to be first at everything, than ever before.
This naturally moves parents toward when seeing their kid showing the slightest talent within to pushing their children to achieve . Yet, in our parent adolescent coaching engagements, we find that external pressure exerted by parents often backfires given the reality of the adolescent brain. As parents we apply external pressure when we see our kids potential and believe they are not realizing it in their lives and school. Read More →